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The Good: You met a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

7. The bad: She's half your age.
The worse: And the same gender. /Emperor

6. The bad: You noticed that he had several camcorders lying around his bedroom.
The worse: Now you get people asking for your your autograph as "Do-me Plenty." /muddlo

5. The bad: More like bought.
The worse: With all the money your dad had in his bank account. /Emperor

4. The bad: You have not dumped the old one yet.
The worse: Because you are afraid he might tell your husband. /Catmistress

3. The bad: You met her over the Internet.
The worse: She turned out to be 9 years old. /DJ Orsher

2. The bad: You don't really know much about them
The worse: you're not sure whether it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend. /lumps

Harry Balse knows something's always wrong...

1. The bad: Her name is Ralph.
The worse: She uses the Men's room.

Originally published: 02/24/2000

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