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The Good: You just discovered that you have a son.

7. The bad: You found out on Jerry Springer.
The worse: Your son, now 25, was quite upset at you missing out on his life and threw a chair at your head. /alfonso

6. The bad: You just won the lottery.
The worse: You don't think there's any correlation. /pandora_va

5. The bad: It's RuPaul.
The worse: He's a better looking woman than you. /jeandenim

4. The bad: You've spent 20 years looking for him.
The worse: You found him in the cemetary. /Jeremiah

3. The bad: Your parents just found out.
The worse: You're 15. /Jeremiah

2. The bad: He joined a weird cult a few years back
The worse: His name now is "Mother Shabubu." /Matt Jordan

pandora_va knows everything only gets worse...

1. The bad: You're female, and you've never been pregnant.
The worse: The "son" bears a strong resemblance to your least-favorite ex-boyfriend.

Originally published: 08/03/2000

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