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The Good: You got a brand new computer.

7. The bad: It came preinstalled with the "Happy New Years" virus.
The worse: You're not happy. /DFD

6. The bad: You had to take out a second, third, fourth, and fifth mortgage on your house to afford it.
The worse: It's an old 386 with 50 Megs of hard drive space and 10K of RAM, no CD drive, and a 5.34" floppy drive. /Matt Jordan

5. The bad: It has HAL 9000 engraved on the screen.
The worse: You keep getting "ERROR: I'm sorry Dave, I cant do that" when you press the letter 'E'. /hunterj

4. The bad: It's a Texas Instruments.
The worse: It has "Property of Los Alamos" stamped on the side. /rorschak

3. The bad: And a free subscription to AOL.
The worse: And a free subscription to AOL. /Lilith "what would Satan do?"

2. The bad: It's still in the box.
The worse: The box is in your car, in the police impoundment lot. /Squid

Gene is our favorite pessimist today...

1. The bad: It was top of the line.
The worse: Yesterday.

Originally published: 12/28/2000

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