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We're gonna take our Operating System and go home if you're not nice

In the news: Microsoft says if the latest proposed anti-trust measures go through that it will be forced to pull Windows from the market.

Did anyone else notice that they're abusing their monopoly in an anti-trust trial?

You can stay, but we're leaving

In the news: Attorney General John Ashcroft says Americans should not expect any relief, possibly for their lifetimes, from a series of high alerts against ongoing threats of terrorism.

RT is going to move to somewhere no one cares about.

How's Australia this time of year?

Maybe not

In the news: Great White Fear Grips Sydney After Shark Sighting

Okay. How's Canada?

Finally, an answer

According to a new study, Bill Clinton could have been indicted for his conduct in the Monica Lewinsky scandal because their was "sufficient evidence," and aren't you glad your tax dollars are being put to good use?

Ruff time

Israeli vets are giving valium to dogs suffering from panic attacks due to escalating Israeli-Palestinian violence, and why can't we all just get along?

Making it too easy for us

AP Headline: Bush Urges Corporate Responsibility

Some jokes don't need a punchline.

You will buy more

Brandchannel wants you to know that the most impact on our lives in 2001 were Target, Apple, Krispy Kreme, Coca-Cola, Google.com, Starbucks, and Martha Stewart.

But you were already brainwashed to know that.

Wonderful

Speaking of brands, Wonderbread has just settled a deceptive advertising lawsuit because they couldn't prove that their calcium enriched bread improves children's minds and memories.

We'll call you

A new study reveals that sunspots disrupt cell phones, for those of you wondering how to get that person in front of you to hang up and start driving.

Sources: AP, Chicago Sun-Times, MacCentral.com, Reuters, USA Today

Originally published: 03/07/2002

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