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Top Ten Things More Likely to Happen to You Than Winning the Lottery

10. Buying ANOTHER lottery ticket. (HWE22)

9. Dying from a mysterious computer virus. (Jewels)

8. Getting a tax refund. (Matt Jordan)

7. Growing into a 50' tall monkey and destroying the world. (Matt Jordan)

6. Actually learning how to use Windows 95. (Code R3D)

5. Getting abducted by aliens....again. (Eggman)

4. Being elected the Governor of Minnesota. (New World Man)

3. We'll just say that my newborn resembles me and Nikki Taylor. (Chris)

2. Leading your team of yourself and four 5 year olds to beat the Harlem Globetrotters by the score of 145 to 3. (Razor)

Bobo's got a plan...

1. Mugging the bastard that did win the lottery.

Originally published: 04/17/1999

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