Top Ten Barbecue Tips

Old Top Ten Lists | Old Randomly Thinking | Old Good Bad Worse

10. Fire = pain. /mookow

9. Remove all live rats from the grill before turning it on. /Smokey the Bear

8. Step one: buy beef. Step two: hopelessly burn beef trying to give it "that outdoor flavor." Step 3: feed beef to dog. /Kramertim

7. Strike Matches AWAY from face. /Lysidium

6. Its okay to cook the hamburgers. It's not okay to cook your neighbor's dog. Its also not okay if you cook your neighbors. /hunterj

5. If hot dogs are not completely thawed, return to underwear. /dj4it

4. Do not wear Speedos. /juparc chacar (smbshahn@aol.com)

3. Burger King -- it just tastes better. /Chronic pessimist

2. Lighter fluid or gasoline. Not both. /Rubicon

Darwin Is Dead gives the most important tip...

1. To tell how long to cook something put it on until it bursts into flames then the next time put it on for less time.