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Top Ten Signs You Should Get Out More

10. You hope the president will bomb Japan into the ground. /sandkicker

9. You have to squint when the sun appears on the TV. /rorschak

8. You have carefully chronicled the evolution of the mold on the cheese in your refrigerator, and are thinking about submitting the 407-page analysis to Scientific Weekly. /dalalei15

7. You have arguments with your pet rats and they often times win. /Hephestos

6. You can tell when the Teletubbies is a repeat. /Scientist

5. Bill Gates has been frequenting your dreams. The erotic ones. /Talia

4. Whenever someone tells a joke you apathetically say "LOL." /DJ Orsher

3. You know all the numbers in Pi....backwards. /freedexter

2. Last time you checked, everyone was still wearing MC Hammer parachute pants. /msjulianne

Squeakgator really needs to leave that dark, dreary room...

1. "Out? Where is out? What is this 'out' you speak of? Does it have a website?"

Originally published: 09/19/2001

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