Old Top Ten Lists | Old Randomly Thinking | Old Good Bad Worse
Go to the archives and replace the Top Ten Rejected Doomsday Theories from last week with Top Ten Signs You Won't Have a Valentine... it's kind of funny. Someguy is back! Here is someguy's top two signs you won't have a valentine... 2. Your name is Saddam. (someguy) 1. You say things like "two words:______" before your entry. (someguy) And now the real list...
12. The only person who ever mailed you ANYTHING was Ted Kazinsky. (AdMan)
11. After get down on your knees and BEG her to go out with you, she just turns away and goes back to her salt lick. (Capitan Skankalot)
10. You have HOW many entries for the top ten list??? (p.s.revenge)
9. The cutest girl you know weighs over 1,000 lbs. (Synch)
8. It's August and you only have six months to live. (DCBlank)
7. She's tied up in your "Secret Room". (J0E BL0W)
6. Your Rogaine experiment went horribly wrong. (BigBro)
5. Valentine? What's a valentine? (REN)
4. Your personal ad lists your hobbies as "dancing, walks in the park, and naked sumo wrestling." (Emu)
3. You ran out of stamps before you could mail yourself one. (Berly)
2. Your parents keep asking you if you're gay. (Anonymous)
This list should have been up on Saturday, but alas, it couldn't because I was in the hospital. Now millions (or hundreds) of people will have to find out too late they won't have a valentine... And now #1 from Joenifty & Crynos - 13...
1. According to the government, you don't exist.
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