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Top Ten Alternative Spring Break Activities

10. Drive cross country with a blow-up doll buckled in the passenger seat. (MsBadElf)

9. Take the Montreal Expos hostage; see if anyone notices. (Emu)

8. Volunteer a "special" friend for experimental surgical proceedures. (Crynos -13)

7. Learn to speak piglatin, amaze your friends. (Cheeto)

6. Parachute optional sky diving. (victorino striker)

5. Go around the neighborhood knocking on doors and asking people to sign a contract which would entitle them to unearthly powers in exchange for their soal. (Crynos -13)

4. Study. (loser)

3. Three words: ritual human sacrifice. (ecifircas namuh lautir)

2. Have a clip your toenails party. (shamoo)

If you do Emu's idea it will be the best (or worst if you're in college) spring break ever...

1. Stay sober.

Originally published: 04/11/1998

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